Tengo bastante olvidado a este blog.
Muchas veces siento ganas de escribir no porque tenga una inquietud que tenga que comunicar. Esas ganas SON la inquietud misma, y cuando quiero expresarla, no me sale nada. También me puedo estar censurando.
No me abandona la sensación de que yo esté viviendo una vida equivocada, de que no esté en el sitio correcto, de que esté sofocando a mi corazón. Esta sensación me envuelve en el momento y después de estar en un lugar natural, el campo, al lado de una montaña, con las estrellas out of the (sky) closet, todas ahi para que las veamos, sin vergüenza.
Este año es y seguirá siendo difícil aceptar para mi , mas que nada por el ritmo y horario de trabajo que tengo, y por su puesto, por mi forma de pensar en esta situación. Mi perspectiva mejora siempre, aunque un poco, y aunque con sólo un silencioso reconocimiento todas las noches cuando llego a casa, de mi cansancio, de la falta de tiempo para hacer otras cosas que me darían mucha mas alegría y me ayudarían a expresarme y crecer más de lo que es posible ahora mismo.
Next year will be different. Next year I'll be (almost) debt-free. And I'll have more time (and money) to do what I want with it. I'd rather consider next year a gift that will arrive in 9 months (no, not a baby) rather than a toy in the window I can't buy right now, por más Navidad que sea.
This summer is closer than next year, though. Only 6 months away. And with her arrival I plan to be submerged in nature, save a bit of time for myself to do something not related to work nor family, a retreat connecting me with what makes me most alive, most happy.
I know happiness doesn't arrive one day, that it's a daily labor, but being in nature makes it that much more possible to achieve. La ciudad, por más pequeña que sea en términos globales, no es mi preferencia. Cuándo salgo de ella, más y más me doy cuenta de que el silencio es el sonido más lindo .
jueves, 10 de diciembre de 2009
miércoles, 9 de septiembre de 2009
Esa tierra
Siempre vuelve ese itch
Que me pica y me pica hasta que
por la fuerza me hace prestarle atencion.
Esa tierra como me tiene,
esa tierra me tiene loca.
Que me pica y me pica hasta que
por la fuerza me hace prestarle atencion.
Esa tierra como me tiene,
esa tierra me tiene loca.
martes, 1 de septiembre de 2009
Viaje a Glendale
Sophie es toda una diva.
Mergimek kufte (albondigas de lentejas amarillas) hecho por mi abuela.
Pupusa Salvadoreña: con queso y chicharrón dentro y una ensalada de repollo y zanahoria encima llamada "curtido". RIQUISIMO!
Una panadería y cafetería armenia/libanés. La escritura en la vidriera es en armenio y en inglés, diciendo lo que se ofrece para comer.
Comimos un beorek (tipo empanada) de queso armenio con pimentón y lahmajune, que es un pan chato con carne encima calentado al horno.
Un burrito de pollo en la playa Imperial. ¿Lindas palmeras, no?
Hamburguesas de In n Out, "animal style". Son inigualables. Y me falta comerme una antes de irme!!!
Mante, una comida parecida a ravioles de carne, con salsa de madzun (yogur) con ajo.
sábado, 22 de agosto de 2009
Haven't written since before summer camp in Almería. It tired me out so much, I decided to stay away from blogging about it.
Now almost finished with my CELTA course, I have more ganas than energy to write, so I'll do it.
Actually, I'm asleep behind these open eyes. My body feels heavy, my breathing is not as optimum as could be (lots of cigarette smoke in the air last night), and I'm quite exhausted overall, mainly from not sleeping well the last few nights. Gotta sleep and eat lots of fruit (something else I've been missing this month of assignments, teaching and little time for food shopping/cooking/eating) in order to have a healthy VACATION back home in Glendale.
My interests in travelling/living abroad have been piqued since realizing that the course I am doing now will give me a certificate that will open the doors of work just about anywhere in the world. It's like getting a platter of chocolates, all of which you can choose from, not knowing which one to eat first! Which country should I try out first?
Current interests:
-Brazil
-Turkey
-Not sure yet but somewhere in East Asia
-Also another country in the Middle East...
In unrelated news, I'm highly bothered by the cigarette smoke that surrounds me at the moment. I can't understand how some people don't find it bothersome and don't have a consciousness about it's general fucked-upness. That shit is not good for you! Why focus on health in other areas of your life, then pollute your OWN lungs multiple times a day? No lo entiendo. I know I come from a different (less pervasive) smoking culture in LA...but common sense should lend itself here.
I can't wait for a more definitive anti-tobacco law in Spain/Andalucía which would prohibit smoking in all closed spaces. I know its damaging to local business, but in the long run, we're looking out for our health...in general, we can't pollute ourselves this way, knowingly yet ignorantly. I know you could say there's a lot of other pollution to deal with, why fight this one?
It's more about everyone's right to breathe "clean" (smoke-free) air. You can tell me that the exhaust coming from buses and cars hurt me just as much as cigarette smoke. That is being combatted as well, as it affects people and the earth on a global scale.
The local benefits of a more inclusive anti-tobacco law, however, will affect people right away, allowing them to choose whether they want to be surrounded by smoke or not. If it's a public space, you can't privatize the air, you can't impose a majority smoking habit on the people who want to spend time in public spaces without having to breathe in something that will hurt them. If you want to smoke, go outside and sit in a cafe with your friends or go to someone's house and fill the place with smoke...but leave the general public out of your unhealthy habit.
When I can't stand the smoke around me, I stick my tongue out as if expelling the air I've just breathed in. Not because I think it works (ha! if only!), but because I feel helpless, so I do it to feel like I may have some control over what I breathe. Manu saw me and imitated me without realizing I wasn't making a face or being silly. It sucks when you breathe in deeply and feel all sorts of shit in your lungs you didn't put there in the first place.
OK. Time to leave this smoky room and lie down.
Hope this message spreads. CONSCIOUSNESS and CONSIDERATION. That's all I want. :)
-
Now almost finished with my CELTA course, I have more ganas than energy to write, so I'll do it.
Actually, I'm asleep behind these open eyes. My body feels heavy, my breathing is not as optimum as could be (lots of cigarette smoke in the air last night), and I'm quite exhausted overall, mainly from not sleeping well the last few nights. Gotta sleep and eat lots of fruit (something else I've been missing this month of assignments, teaching and little time for food shopping/cooking/eating) in order to have a healthy VACATION back home in Glendale.
My interests in travelling/living abroad have been piqued since realizing that the course I am doing now will give me a certificate that will open the doors of work just about anywhere in the world. It's like getting a platter of chocolates, all of which you can choose from, not knowing which one to eat first! Which country should I try out first?
Current interests:
-Brazil
-Turkey
-Not sure yet but somewhere in East Asia
-Also another country in the Middle East...
In unrelated news, I'm highly bothered by the cigarette smoke that surrounds me at the moment. I can't understand how some people don't find it bothersome and don't have a consciousness about it's general fucked-upness. That shit is not good for you! Why focus on health in other areas of your life, then pollute your OWN lungs multiple times a day? No lo entiendo. I know I come from a different (less pervasive) smoking culture in LA...but common sense should lend itself here.
I can't wait for a more definitive anti-tobacco law in Spain/Andalucía which would prohibit smoking in all closed spaces. I know its damaging to local business, but in the long run, we're looking out for our health...in general, we can't pollute ourselves this way, knowingly yet ignorantly. I know you could say there's a lot of other pollution to deal with, why fight this one?
It's more about everyone's right to breathe "clean" (smoke-free) air. You can tell me that the exhaust coming from buses and cars hurt me just as much as cigarette smoke. That is being combatted as well, as it affects people and the earth on a global scale.
The local benefits of a more inclusive anti-tobacco law, however, will affect people right away, allowing them to choose whether they want to be surrounded by smoke or not. If it's a public space, you can't privatize the air, you can't impose a majority smoking habit on the people who want to spend time in public spaces without having to breathe in something that will hurt them. If you want to smoke, go outside and sit in a cafe with your friends or go to someone's house and fill the place with smoke...but leave the general public out of your unhealthy habit.
When I can't stand the smoke around me, I stick my tongue out as if expelling the air I've just breathed in. Not because I think it works (ha! if only!), but because I feel helpless, so I do it to feel like I may have some control over what I breathe. Manu saw me and imitated me without realizing I wasn't making a face or being silly. It sucks when you breathe in deeply and feel all sorts of shit in your lungs you didn't put there in the first place.
OK. Time to leave this smoky room and lie down.
Hope this message spreads. CONSCIOUSNESS and CONSIDERATION. That's all I want. :)
-
jueves, 18 de junio de 2009
martes, 16 de junio de 2009
Flying home to Glendale in September!
Hey everyone,
I will be in Glendale from August 31st to September 20th! Yippee!!!
If you will be in LA or San Diego, let me know, I don´t have an American cell phone, we´ll see what I do when I get there, but I am always available via email!
I will be in Glendale from August 31st to September 20th! Yippee!!!
If you will be in LA or San Diego, let me know, I don´t have an American cell phone, we´ll see what I do when I get there, but I am always available via email!
jueves, 11 de junio de 2009
Herman Hesse, how do you know me so well?
I found a book of poems and prose written by Herman Hesse in my living room. It´s missing the cover, and most of the first prose piece. The last page of the first piece, titled Casa de labor, resonates in me:
"Desde las montañas sopla una húmeda ráfaga; al otro lado, azules y celestes islas contemplan nuestras tierras. Bajo aquellos cielos seré feliz a menudo, y también a menudo sentiré la nostalgia del hogar. El perfecto representante de mi especie, el vagabundo puro, no debería conocer esta nostalgia. Yo la conozco, no soy perfecto, y tampoco pretendo serlo. Quiero saborear mi nostalgia como saboreo a mis amigos.
Este viento hacia el que trepo tiene una maravillosa fragancia de lejanía y de otro mundo, de aguas divisorias y fronteras lingüisticas, de sur y de montañas. Está lleno de promesas.
¡Adios, pequeña casa de labor y paisaje de la patria! Me despido de vosotros como un adolescente de su madre: sabe que ya le ha llegado la hora de separarse de ella, y sabe también que nunca podrá abandonarla del todo, aunque tal fuera su deseo."
I can relate to this piece for obvious reasons of having left my "home" (home is in many different places, in feelings, in moments) in search of something new in Spain. Me siento algo vagabunda por la necesidad que tengo de conocer lugares nuevos, pero no con fines turisticos, no. Viajo por descubrimiento personal, por acercarme a la esencia de la vida, lo cual no se encuentra en el vorágine de la vida cotidiana sin reflexión. Por vivir más plena una media hora en el campo, la ruta, el lago, que meses metida dentro de la vida occidental capitalista.
Realmente no siento nostalgia por mi vida en Estados Unidos. Siento la necesidad de conectar con mis amigos, mi familia, mis orígenes, mi cultura tan mestiza, tan normalizada en ciudades como Los Angeles o San Diego.
La nostalgia que siento es de lugares donde me he sentido viva, vital, humilde, simple...de viajes en el sur argentino, sintiendo el viento soplando sobre el Lago Lacar, mirando el Cerro Piltriquitron, temblando del frío en el Lago Puelo. De mirar el paisaje suroeste de Bolivia, completamente maravillada, sintiendome en una burbuja de luz, nubes y aire.
Ya volveré a esa lejanía. Es más natural que respirar. Es involuntario. Es volver al corazón.
"Desde las montañas sopla una húmeda ráfaga; al otro lado, azules y celestes islas contemplan nuestras tierras. Bajo aquellos cielos seré feliz a menudo, y también a menudo sentiré la nostalgia del hogar. El perfecto representante de mi especie, el vagabundo puro, no debería conocer esta nostalgia. Yo la conozco, no soy perfecto, y tampoco pretendo serlo. Quiero saborear mi nostalgia como saboreo a mis amigos.
Este viento hacia el que trepo tiene una maravillosa fragancia de lejanía y de otro mundo, de aguas divisorias y fronteras lingüisticas, de sur y de montañas. Está lleno de promesas.
¡Adios, pequeña casa de labor y paisaje de la patria! Me despido de vosotros como un adolescente de su madre: sabe que ya le ha llegado la hora de separarse de ella, y sabe también que nunca podrá abandonarla del todo, aunque tal fuera su deseo."
I can relate to this piece for obvious reasons of having left my "home" (home is in many different places, in feelings, in moments) in search of something new in Spain. Me siento algo vagabunda por la necesidad que tengo de conocer lugares nuevos, pero no con fines turisticos, no. Viajo por descubrimiento personal, por acercarme a la esencia de la vida, lo cual no se encuentra en el vorágine de la vida cotidiana sin reflexión. Por vivir más plena una media hora en el campo, la ruta, el lago, que meses metida dentro de la vida occidental capitalista.
Realmente no siento nostalgia por mi vida en Estados Unidos. Siento la necesidad de conectar con mis amigos, mi familia, mis orígenes, mi cultura tan mestiza, tan normalizada en ciudades como Los Angeles o San Diego.
La nostalgia que siento es de lugares donde me he sentido viva, vital, humilde, simple...de viajes en el sur argentino, sintiendo el viento soplando sobre el Lago Lacar, mirando el Cerro Piltriquitron, temblando del frío en el Lago Puelo. De mirar el paisaje suroeste de Bolivia, completamente maravillada, sintiendome en una burbuja de luz, nubes y aire.
Ya volveré a esa lejanía. Es más natural que respirar. Es involuntario. Es volver al corazón.
lunes, 8 de junio de 2009
sábado, 6 de junio de 2009
En algun lugar hay que empezar
Como de costumbre, instead of jumping in and just starting this blog, I´ve been jotting down blog ideas. Pero it´s time to start, I can´t wait for the perfect blog moment anymore...blog reflects life, life does not reflect blog.
I am a person who reflects many contrasts. I am very open and quite happy to talk about a lot of personal subjects, but am also selective and don´t want everyone and their mom to know about it. So if you´re reading this, it´s because me caes bien.
But I´ll share some good news that has happened recently:
Most importantly: VOY A RECIBIR MI DNI ESPAÑOL EN 2 DÍAS!! After months of waiting for responses from the Registro Civil in Sevilla and Madrid and the Spanish Consulate in Buenos Aires, I finally bet my cards on the Spanish Consulate in LA which did me the MAJOR favor of asking Buenos Aires to get it´s act straight and send me my pinche Spanish birth certificate! I presented that along with my new padrón certificate and on Monday will finally, happily, relieved-ly pick up my DNI card. Hombre, ahora SI se puede trabajar y hacer todas las demas cosas cotidianas sin inconveniencias!!
I got a summer job!! Jodeeeeeeeeer qué suerte tío. As of two weeks from now, I will be in Aguadulce, Almería teaching kiddies (ages 8-11) English and playing with them all day long! Woohoooooo!!!
And...due to the fortune of having a solid income for the summer, I will be flying home to Glendale in September for hopefully two weeks. Gotta figure out the dates but that´s just details...it´s a go! I am drooling about all the books I am gonna bring back with me, as well as some food items...real soy sauce, Mexican anything (mmm Mexico, lindo y querido!) and OF COURSE Armenian stuff...how well will frozen lamajun keep? mmmm I´ve missed you so.
And...gonna do the CELTA certification course in August (sultry Seville). Studying full-time for a month straight on how to teach people how to espeak en eengleesh.
Ah, waiting for the results of my French placement test to see if I get a spot in the Escuela Oficial de Idiomas...hopefully gonna be put back on the French train and maybe even get to France at some point!
Pues, my year (teaching has created a new calendar in my life...September-June) will start off with a bang!
Se siente muy bien, te lo puedo asegurar. Gracias España!!!
I am a person who reflects many contrasts. I am very open and quite happy to talk about a lot of personal subjects, but am also selective and don´t want everyone and their mom to know about it. So if you´re reading this, it´s because me caes bien.
But I´ll share some good news that has happened recently:
Most importantly: VOY A RECIBIR MI DNI ESPAÑOL EN 2 DÍAS!! After months of waiting for responses from the Registro Civil in Sevilla and Madrid and the Spanish Consulate in Buenos Aires, I finally bet my cards on the Spanish Consulate in LA which did me the MAJOR favor of asking Buenos Aires to get it´s act straight and send me my pinche Spanish birth certificate! I presented that along with my new padrón certificate and on Monday will finally, happily, relieved-ly pick up my DNI card. Hombre, ahora SI se puede trabajar y hacer todas las demas cosas cotidianas sin inconveniencias!!
I got a summer job!! Jodeeeeeeeeer qué suerte tío. As of two weeks from now, I will be in Aguadulce, Almería teaching kiddies (ages 8-11) English and playing with them all day long! Woohoooooo!!!
And...due to the fortune of having a solid income for the summer, I will be flying home to Glendale in September for hopefully two weeks. Gotta figure out the dates but that´s just details...it´s a go! I am drooling about all the books I am gonna bring back with me, as well as some food items...real soy sauce, Mexican anything (mmm Mexico, lindo y querido!) and OF COURSE Armenian stuff...how well will frozen lamajun keep? mmmm I´ve missed you so.
And...gonna do the CELTA certification course in August (sultry Seville). Studying full-time for a month straight on how to teach people how to espeak en eengleesh.
Ah, waiting for the results of my French placement test to see if I get a spot in the Escuela Oficial de Idiomas...hopefully gonna be put back on the French train and maybe even get to France at some point!
Pues, my year (teaching has created a new calendar in my life...September-June) will start off with a bang!
Se siente muy bien, te lo puedo asegurar. Gracias España!!!
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